I’ve been loyal to you since the 7th grade, when I got my first silver, Samsung, black-and-white-screened flip phone with the default dancing panda screensaver. Don’t act like you don’t remember that phone.
I am now a senior in college, and I am still a loyal customer. I fought for you when my friends all switched to Verizon because it has “better service.” Psh. I patted your back when it took you a little longer to get the iPhone. I gave you a hug and another chance when you deleted all my contacts, when you erased every single text message thread of mine, when the last two phones of mine were “irreparable.”
But now… now I’m a little pissed.
I purchased the HTC Evo in January 2011 because “it can do everything the iPhone can,” as the salesman said—and as I repeatedly tell my friends when they ask “why the hell is your phone so large?” Well, he failed to mention the various downfalls—you know, “the usual.”
-Battery dies every four hours (on a good day) even with task killers etc.
-Constant data failure not allowing me to access the internet (I have four email accounts I have to check hourly so this perk is HELLA fun, excuse my wannabe ‘socal’ lingo).
-Repeated text message time/contact mixups. It was REAL fun accidentally asking my internship adviser if she wanted to go to dollar beers with me…
-I don’t even want to waste my time getting into GPS, twitter, apps, the marketplace and everything else…
Okay, so you may argue that these are characteristics of the phone, not the service. Yeah yeah. Well a characteristic of the service failure is calling three different stores trying to figure out what is going on and having three different people tell me to just “bring it in and give it to a techy.” Well, Mr. Sprinty, I don’t have time to “bring it in” this week. (I’ll send you my schedule if you don’t believe me). Scott Bedbury says that “every brand contains a characteristic set of weaknesses,” and service just may be yours. I need answers and I need someone who cares enough to try and walk me through a solution on the phone, like the good ‘ol guys at Verizon. Yeah, I said it.
The moral of the story is…I have brand loyalty to you, but I’m not sure why. And it kinda sucks. As my friend Grace Fox beautifully puts it, you’re the drunk guy at the bar that no one wants to be. But since the 7th grade, I’ve always wanted to go home with you anyways. John Gezerma tells me I am in power as the consumer, but I’m not feelin’ it. So please Sprint, figure it out. Your recent acquisition of the iPhone isn’t going to hide your flaws. I’m sorry for my harshness—I feel like this is the “we need to talk phase” of our relationship and maybe there is something you can do to make me stay with you. Gimme a ring…(503) 381-0550. Hopefully my phone won’t freeze up like usual so I can actually answer.